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How to train your anti-virus

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This issue's material has been provided by Anti-virus Times project participant Irrepressible Inhabitant from Shakhty

So what made you decide to protect your PC with an anti-virus?

Let’s begin with a key point: you don’t need to buy or install a licensed anti-virus!

There are a multitude of websites that let you download almost any anti-virus free of charge, and more of these websites appear daily. Why pay the official developers when somebody has already put in the effort and prepared you a hacked distribution that doesn’t require a key? Or you can find keys and substitute them for an installed anti-virus. Chatter that such software contains viruses and other malicious programs is just part of the scheming companies engage in to try to make money off of gullible users. And it's OK if the key you download gets blocked—after all, you can always find a new one. The fact that you can be punished by law for using illegal software is nothing to worry about either: who would ever think to inspect specifically your computer? If you come across news about someone being prosecuted for using illegal software, don’t believe it—it’s just a story made up by someone who wants to sell you an anti-virus. Nobody ever gets punished!

There’s one more way to get a high-quality anti-virus for free. You can find a variety of promos when you visit certain types of websites (most often those with adult content, pirated music and video, different distributions, and the like). When browsing these websites, some pages scan your computer for viruses free of charge. Usually, they operate much faster than conventional anti-viruses and immediately display the scan results; they offer to remove any viruses detected and to always protect your computer. Go ahead and say yes to those—such an opportunity is not likely to fall in your lap again soon!

Anti-viruses don’t need to be installed at all. On their official websites, many anti-virus vendors have special utilities that let you scan and cure your computer in case of infection. If you find you have problems, you can download a utility and “clean” your computer. Don’t worry that, while you were downloading it, your PC was blocked by encryption ransomware and all your files were encrypted. After all, you can always run over to your local computer club or to your friends’ house and download a utility there.

And, what’s more, you can buy the disk you need at any kiosk that sells CDs with hacked software and any program version, and use the CD to neutralise all the malware on your computer. Usually, such disks contain additional utilities that let you fine-tune your system and significantly accelerate its operation, as well as install the latest drivers.

If, however, you have nonetheless decided to install an anti-virus, select the oldest version you can find, preferably one that is a few years old. After all, it has already withstood the test of time, has millions of users, and runs without a hitch. New versions and anti-viruses are released for one purpose only —to attract a customer's attention and make that person buy the program again. The earlier an anti-virus was released, the faster it operates, and the fewer resources it requires.

After you install your anti-virus, don’t agree to scan the system, something it immediately offers to do for you. After all, you’ve installed an anti-virus so everything must be fine!

The next step is to disable all the additional scanning options that do nothing but interfere with your computer’s operation. Anti-virus manufacturers intentionally introduce this functionality in their products so that your PC barely operates and freezes constantly. The fact is that anti-virus companies are in cahoots with hardware manufacturers and this is what they do to push users into buying new equipment. Disable all the options and components you can so that you achieve maximum performance—both from your anti-virus and your PC.

If, when you’re downloading or launching a needed file, or opening a website, your anti-virus blocks it, you need to temporarily disable scanning, and then enable it after you’ve installed whatever program you need. Nothing serious will happen in the interim, especially if you do nothing else while installing the file.

If some game or program slows your computer down, your anti-virus is probably to blame. You can disable it when using a program that doesn’t have enough resources.

Now let's talk about updating the virus databases. Modern anti-viruses incorporate powerful heuristic mechanisms and integrated proactive protection, so no virus databases are required! These mechanisms can detect any existing virus as well as all their possible future modifications. How viruses penetrate computers and what they do there is no secret. Heuristic mechanisms neutralise all these actions easily! So don’t waste time, traffic, and clutter up disk space with absolutely unnecessary databases. Disable updates once and for all!

And finally a few words about full scans. There’s no sense in doing them because an anti-virus is already installed on your computer, making it impossible for any malicious programs to penetrate the system. To be honest, this type of scan requires a lot of time; we’ve done them and have never detected anything serious—just one or two minor, inactive Trojans and some kind of keylogger. But, if they dared to become active, the anti-virus would immediately neutralise them, so we recommend that you skip this senseless procedure.

So remember—your anti-virus will be whatever you train it to be! You can’t give it free rein—rule it with an iron hand; otherwise your computer won’t work for you, but for your anti-virus!

Dr.Web recommends

Thoughtful and attentive users have noted, of course, that all the above-mentioned tips are harmful. They know that one must do the exact opposite!

Doctor Web is not responsible for the consequences resulting from anyone dismissing our warnings and following these “tips”☺

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